Inspired by Downfallman59's similar thread on the old Downfall parodies forum: http://s1.zetaboards.com/downfallparodies/topic/4271854/1/#new

Basically all you have to do is state a way to kill the person who posts after you, then the next poster would have to state a way to defend himself and then state another way to kill the next poster after him, and so on.

I'll start first, by readying my time machine and travelling back in time to kill the next poster as a baby.